Posted by Joshua Molina @JoshMolina
Winner. Probably listening to "Cult of Personality" at this very moment.
Joshua Molina

John Cena slayed the Espys with the power of a Lebron James dunk and the finesse of a Tom Brady touchdown pass.

The 15-time professional wrestling champion further cemented his legacy as the GOAT of wrestling and possibly entertainment if he keeps up this way. In under 10 minutes, Cena destroyed Kobe Bryant, the city of Cleveland, Kevin Durant,Jay Z Roger Goodell, Peyton Manning, the Chicago Bulls and even threw in a shout out to The Nature Boy Ric Flair, the greatest professional wrestler of all time, and his boss, WWE owner Vince McMahon. yes, #thankgodforjohncena.

You can find the full monologue to the Espys here, but beware. Don't have anything in your mouth, or risk snorting, choking, farting or all three simultaneously. Cena is that good.

Here are some highlights from the night when a so-called "fake wrestler" proved that he's nothing but real on the microphone.

Hear that ticking, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? That's your time as the most entertaining mainstream professional wrestler running out . . . John Cena, The Champ Is HERE!