ByAmy Kaplan, writer at
Senior Staff Writer // Follow me on Twitter and Instagram @PhotoAmy33
Amy Kaplan

Hollywood is all about dreaming big, so why not think even bigger and match some of Tinseltown's stars with UFC athletes for some megafights fit for the big screen?

Grab your popcorn and Junior Mints, this should be good!

Photo: YouTube/Instagram
Photo: YouTube/Instagram

Shia Labeouf vs. Conor McGregor

Who wouldn't pay to see this fight? C'mon. The UFC's biggest mouth, and craziest antics vs. Hollywood's rat-tail-wearing bad boy would be an epic fight. I honestly see this happening in the streets before they even made it to the Octagon because neither of these hot heads care about the rules. Labeouf would probably wear a paper bag in his walkout and McGregor would grow a rat tail to match Shia's.

Prediction: Draw, via a dual KO. It would be crazy.

Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures/Instagram
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures/Instagram

Charlize Theron vs. Rose Namajunas

First of all this match would ONLY work in Theron's Mad Max: Fury Road character. I can't actually picture Theron throwing down if it wasn't for a role, although she did gain a bunch of weight to play a serial killer so maybe she has more balls than I give her credit for. Namajunas is like a closet sweetheart, badass on the outside and sunshine on the inside, sort of the opposite of how I picture Theron which is why this would be a great match-up.

Prediction: Theron via split decision

Photos: Instagram
Photos: Instagram

Ashton Kutcher vs. Sage Northcutt

Wait, Northcutt does jiu-jitsu? I'm shocked! (I kid, I kid)

Kutcher, a blue belt in BJJ would be a perfect fit for Northcutt, who is totally ripped but lacks a lot in the groundwork. Not to mention, they both kind of have that "I want to prank someone and stay young forever" vibe. With a little work Kutcher could pick up the stand-up game and just aim for a takedown and he'd nab Northcutt easily.

Prediction: Kutcher via armbar, first round

Photo: Universal Pictures/Instagram
Photo: Universal Pictures/Instagram

Zac Efron vs. Demetrious Johnson

I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I only chose Efron because I wanted to see him without a shirt... shhhhh...

Ok, back to work.

Mighty Mouse vs. the guy from High School Musical? Even though Efron is ripped, he's probably not training every day like Johnson and I doubt he'd know what to do in a cage. BUT I STILL WANT TO SEE IT! Perhaps Efron's reach advantage could give him an edge over Johnson?

Prediction: Johnson via KO (Don't worry Zac I will nurse you back to health)

Photos: Instagram
Photos: Instagram

Demi Lovato vs. Paige VanZant

A singer/actress turned MMA addict vs. an MMA powerhouse turned dancer... uh perfect!

Lovato has been training, and looks pretty damn good. VanZant has been dancing and not training which I think would make a level playing field for the two.

In fact check out Lovato training recently.

We really can't underestimate VanZant though as she seems to thrive when people doubt her skills (ahem, Dancing With the Stars).

Prediction: Lovato via unanimous decision

Photos: Instagram
Photos: Instagram

Ellie Goulding vs. Holly Holm

Did you know that Goulding trains in boxing? Yeah, me neither! What better match-up for her than Holm, who is a boxing champ! Not to mention they both seem like total sweethearts and would probably hug it out and go get their nails done when it was all over.

Check out Goulding hitting pads!

Prediction: Holm via TKO. After the win Holm would raise Goulding's hand as a sign of respect.

Photos: Instagram
Photos: Instagram

Vin Diesel vs. Fedor Emelianenko

OK, let's be honest. I matched these two because they are both bald. But in reality this match would be kind of awesome. I think I'd need to see Diesel face a current Emelianenko, not a prime Emelianenko. I wouldn't want to see Vin to die after all, that would be a buzzkill for sure.

Plot twist: Let's make this a Bellator fight!

Prediction: Emelianenko via decision

Photos: HBO/Instagram
Photos: HBO/Instagram

Gwendoline Christie vs. Cris Cyborg

This was the hardest for me to match, there are not many women (or men) that could take on Cyborg. I pooled the office and most agreed that Christie is the best option, and I agree. Her Game of Thrones persona, Brienne, is dedicated, and that's what you would need to go up against the powerhouse that is Cyborg. I think this would be barn burner, she wouldn't go down easily.

Prediction: Cyborg by TKO in the third round

Photos: Twentieth Century Fox/Instagram
Photos: Twentieth Century Fox/Instagram

Hugh Jackman vs. Michael Bisping

Look at those arms! All four of them!

I think this match is the most realistic. Both men are incredibly fit and the same body style. BUT there is no one that can beat Wolverine. He can regenerate quickly, so even if Bisping could land some strikes, they'd heal before the ref could stop it. Also he's made of adamantium, which is basically super steel... so... game over.

Prediction: Wolverine via TKO, in the first round. (Sorry Bisping!)

Who else would you like to see matched up. Leave your Hollywood matches in the comments below!


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