ByJustin Golightly, writer at
Design wizard. MMA mathematician. Formerly of Middle Easy, Justin Golightly has been featured on Bleacher Report, Uproxx and TMZ.
Justin Golightly

If you're like any pro wrestling kid who grew up watching tanned dudes in psychedelic-colored streamers slam evildoers, you wanted the action figures to put on your own dream matches. You either meticulously posed and manipulated your plastic homunculi to pull off techniques, or haphazardly threw them off crap to flip into one another. Well, for every boy and girl who enjoyed countless hours of play time as a child, Robot Pro-Wrestling Dekinnoka! was created for you. Yes. It's exactly the way it sounds: Remote-controlled robots doing pro wrestling moves in a ring for pride and belts.

There are elaborate entrances, storylines, and a cast of hilarious characters that perform in the square circle while a live crowd spectates. You just never know what you may see at Dekinnoka. There is an anthropomorphic chicken in a Hawaiian shirt named Foghorn, your classic luchador, even a wrapped present that conceals a bear armed with a hammer to whack his opponents. The highlight of most of their matches online though, has to be the literal suplex machine, Saaga.

Sure, the full matches are a lot of trail and error. A robot wrestler will sidestep across the ring just to be grazed with a chop by its opponent and fall. Or, you know, just fall for no particular reason. But what keeps you coming back and sitting through the bouts are the hope that something inevitably cool happens, which it often does. Isn't that why we watch anything really? Besides, if you're not the type of person that laughs at the staff taking a robotic chicken away in a stretcher, then carrying him back as fried wings for the crowd to eat, then we can't be friends.


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