Real champions wear their title belts around their waists.
And #AJStyles is a real champion.
"The face that runs the place" continued his reign of professional wrestling superiority on Tuesday night's edition of Smackdown Live! He battered James Ellsworth, verbally and physically, and bumped for Dean Ambrose like only the best professional wrestler in the world can.
And when he entered the ring first, he wore his belt around his waist, like a champion should, unlike a certain Raw United States champion.
The show also featured the continual re-shaping of Randy Orton, a guy who has been around as long as #JohnCena, but for some reason is the newest member of the hillbilly heel faction The Wyatt Family.
#AlexaBliss may not be the wrestler that Charlotte is, but my goodness, she has some of the best facials in wrestling. When it is all said and done, she and Charlotte might be the face of the Diva's Revolution.
It was the go-home show for Sunday's Tables, Ladders & Chairs (#TLC) PPV, so, of course, we saw some tables, ladders and chairs. With the smoothness of AJ Styles' walkout music and the force of a Luke Harper kick to the face, let's dive into our weekly report card on Smackdown Live!
AJ Styles Attacks and Insults James Ellsworth
So, Dean Ambrose is looking more and more like a male GQ model these days than a professional wrestler. Maybe that's just because he's always standing next to the facially challenged #JamesEllsworth. I don't know what is in Ambrose's future, but he is dying on Smackdown Live, losing his spot to Styles, a far better everything than Ambrose.
Ambrose hosted one of his Ambrose Asylum segments and brought out Ellsworth. Ellsworth thanks Ambrose for helping him secure a WWE contract and Ambrose said he didn't owe him anything other than maybe he could "wash my car or pick up a six-pack." I don't think this is what Stone Cold Steve Austin meant when he told Ambrose a few months ago on his podcast that he needs to turn it up a notch and stop coasting.
Styles came out to a whopping pop, asking the question we all wanted to ask: "Is this what you call quality entertainment?"
Styles got in some really mean, but true jokes on Ellsworth, whose entire gimmick seems to exist of being ugly.
"If you think your little face is disfigured now, wait until I get a hold of tables, ladders and hairs," Styles said, to loud "AJ Styles" chants.
Styles demanded respect from Ambrose, and then he went all Roddy Piper, attacking both guys out of nowhere. Styles laid out Ambrose, who looked like a total goon here, and then went to work on Ellsworth.
Styles threw him through the ropes and then hit him in the back with a steel chair as Ellsworth lay awkwardly upside down. Then, the moment we were all waiting for, Styles hit the Styles Clash on Ellsworth -- on the ringside steel steps.
YES! YES! YES!
Ellsworth was stretchered, taken away in an ambulance.
Dean Ambrose Attacks AJ Styles
Of course, Ambrose couldn't allow his little buddy to get wiped out like that without repercussions. During a backstage interview segment with tag team champions Heath Slater and Rhyno to end the show, AJ Styles interrupted, and then Ambrose took his revenge -- blindsiding Styles, and beating him up.
He threw him over the black leather couch and then pounced on him. He threw him on a table and then slammed him off it. Here's the deal: This didn't look like a fake backstage fight because Styles is so good. He worked stiff and resisted in a tangled, rough way - the way you would if someone really did attack you from behind. Please, never take the title off this guy.
Alexa Bliss Tables Becky Lynch
It's a WWE women's segment, so that must mean time for colored hair. But seriously, Alexa Bill is all that and more. She can talk, she looks great and she can work. But most of all, she has some of the best acting faces in pro wrestling. She shows outrage, surprise, anger, and sassy, all at the right moments.
Renee Young tried to introduce the contract signing segment, but Bliss kicked her out. Women's champ Becky Lynch then came out and and said a whole bunch of stuff that was really hard to understand because of her deep voice and thick Irish accent. Bliss called her on it "Every time you talk, I just want to vomit."
Since they were in Texas, Lynch said she was Smackdown Live's version of the Honey Badger."
Lynch, like Styles, attacked Bliss out of nowhere, delivering a suplex, throwing her in a corner and then nailing her with some fists. Lynch set up a table and looked like she wanted to deliver a superplex, but Bliss fought it off and pushed Lynch onto the table. "ECW, ECW, ECW."
Bliss fixed her makeup.
Luke Harper vs. Kane
Here are two more guys that are faster and better big men than Braun Strowman, despite what Michael Cole says. This was a good match, considering these guys are giants. Harper is a scary-looking dude, and doesn't even need the mask to frighten people. Kane's character is tired and so much of a "what could've been," but he won here, defeating Harper clean with a chokeslam.
American Alpha vs. Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt
A good match because all four of these guys are athletic. Orton is the best professional wrestler of the bunch, and Bray Wyatt has great ring psychology. Chad Gable and Jason Jordan are great athletes and amateur wrestlers, so you put them in the ring with Orton and Wyatt, and not a lot could go wrong.
Orton has sort of a fresh look as a member of the Wyatt; it oddly works, even though Orton should, at this point in his career, be getting the John Cena rested schedule treatment. But that's Orton, he loves the business. In a surprise to no one, Wyatt and Orton got the victory in a good match after Wyatt hit the Sister Abigail on Jordan. American Alpha's time will come, but right now, the Wyatt Family has a title shot at TLC against Heath Slater & Rhyno. One note: Jordan needs to learn how to sell. Bending over and flinging your arms loosely does not really look like you are hurt. It looks like you are acting.
Dolph Ziggler and Kalisto vs. The Miz and Baron Corbin
Ziggler was back to his over-selling and the Miz was, as usual, underselling. Ziggler and Kalisto carried the match, as Corbin led the offensive onslaught. The Miz, whose body somehow looks like he is in high school, is lucky to have Maryse, because she's really the only reason to watch any of his matches. The match ended when Corbin freaked out and hit Kalisto with a steel chair, just as Kalisto had the Miz pinned. Corbin will wrestle Kalisto in a chairs match at Sunday's PPV, because big giant guys like Corbin apparently need chairs to defeat small guys like Kalisto.
Carmella Scraps With Nikki Bella
The best part of this was hearing the crowd chant "How you doin'" at Carmella, who is dating Big Cass. Love it when reality creeps into "fantasy warfare." Carmella promised to deflate John Cena's girlfriend's breast implants. Carmella actually said it much cruder than that. Bella ran in and the slapfest began. The two fought like women who don't know how to wrestle before the referee broke it up. The two will wrestle in a NO Disqualification match at TLC. This was pretty awful.
The Hype Brothers Sell T-Shirts
Who would wear a T-Shirt that said "Bro Me"?