ByJustin Golightly, writer at
Design wizard. MMA mathematician. Formerly of Middle Easy, Justin Golightly has been featured on Bleacher Report, Uproxx and TMZ.
Justin Golightly

Someone has to have a voodoo doll in the ruggedly handsome image of Tim Kennedy. Gun and ruck sack accessories sold separately.

The man is allegedly on an ISIS wanted list, people are trying to date his daughters and it is impossible at this point for Kennedy to get just one damn fight. After two fights on and falling through, the UFC middleweight has been forced to take to social media in order to find an opponent. You don't want to even know how many people he's poked on Facebook.

After a string of emoji trying to demonstrate his heartbreak over the internet once he found out Patrick Cote was injured, Kennedy had to move on to other opponent options. He Tweeted out to Vitor Belfort, Anderson Silva and even Brock Lesnar. No word yet if Kennedy would allow him to use his super-soldier foot cream serum or not.

After taking that incredibly quick loss to Goldberg, Brock Lesnar may want to get back into the win column, but unfortunately, all of these UFC fighters have gone silent. Maybe they are just nervous they'll be added to the same ISIS lists. After calling out over ten people, who else is left for Kennedy?

One thing is for sure, maybe he can earn a world record for the longest fight camp in the history of the UFC.

Here are some possible opponents:

  • Yoel Romero: No stools allowed.
  • Two flyweights eliminated from TUF 24 show.
  • Rashad Evans still, but on a floating barge so it's legal.
  • CM Punk but Kennedy has to have one hand behind his back like Shane Carwin.

Maybe he should start going back through his UFC 205 list?


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