ByJared Jones, writer at
Writer. Editor. Zombie survival strategist. Follow me on Twitter @JJWritesStuff
Jared Jones

So, Scott Coker and the Bellator boys threw themselves a little press conference today to promote its upcoming PPV event, . While the matchups weren't exactly what we predicted they would be, the card still looks pretty great, featuring the likes of Fedor Emelianenko, Chael Sonnen, Wanderlei Silva and Matt Mitrione among others.

Of course, this being a Bellator event and all, today's press conference was a mystifying mix of (sometimes unintentional) hilarity and mind-boggling incompetence. In case you missed it, here are a few of the best moments from the panel.

Wanderlei Silva's Breathing

The only fighter missing from today's conference was that of Wanderlei Silva, who joined via Skype from his native Brazil. Unfortunately, due to a sound error (a theme that would continue throughout the conference), it was Wandy's labored breathing that dominated the early moments of the conference.

Seriously, Silva's breathing was intense. Like Goldberg after doing his little punch-kick routine on the walkway intense. Let's hope he's using the time he isn't spending traveling to NYC for press conferences working on his cardio or else Sonnen might actually have a chance of not embarrassing himself this time.

Chael Sonnen: Master Promoter

Chael Sonnen may make his living in the cage, but it's the press conferences where he truly shines, and today was no exception. Whether he was arguing with a boot in place of Wanderlei Silva or questioning just where "The Axe Murderer" was Skyping in from, he once again elevated what could have been (and sometimes was) a mundane event into an extraordinary (or at least watchable) one.

Unsurprisingly, it seems that getting absolutely trucked by Tito Ortiz in his Bellator debut has had no effect on Sonnen's promotional confidence. In fact, the gangster from West Lynn was even brash enough to declare that he "made Tito scream tap" in their Bellator 170 battle and would make Silva do the same.

Wanderlei Silva's Balls

When Sonnen demanded that Silva refer to him as Mr. Sonnen, the former PRIDE star presented him with an alternative option.

It was kind of like his "I want to f*ck Chuck" thing from back in the day, only intentionally funny this time.

Matt "Kidney Stones" Mitrione

Not necessarily a highlight, but remember how Matt Mitrione was forced out of his original bout with Fedor Emelianenko due to some last minute kidney stones? Well it turns out he had A LOT of them. Like, a small quarry's worth.

That'll teach you to drink those new Genny Concrete Cream Ales, guys.

Chael Sonnen Does ALL The Drugs

When asked about the infamous drug test debacle that saw both Sonnen and Wanderlei booted from the UFC following the cancellation of their would-be fight at UFC 175, "The American Gangster" offered a brilliantly candid response.

That's right, Chael Sonnen does ALL THE DRUGS, and was probably so loaded up on HGH and estrogen blockers that the tests couldn't even pick up the mix of cocaine, crystal meth, K2 spice, Lorazepam, Abilify, Yaz, and Cymbalta coursing through his veins. Suck it, NSAC! CHAEL SMASH!!!

Watch the entire press conference below:


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