ByJustin Golightly, writer at
Design wizard. MMA mathematician. Formerly of Middle Easy, Justin Golightly has been featured on Bleacher Report, Uproxx and TMZ.
Justin Golightly

When the MMA event that you're watching starts out with the matchmaker trolling you with a bad trumpet solo, just to reveal he actually can play the trumpet and he's backed by a brass ensemble, then you know right of the the bat that you're in for an amazing treat.

That is how RIZIN begun. Of course, directly after that, former "crazy PRIDE lady" Lenne Hardt yelled and sometimes sang all of the fighters names as they walked out to what sounded like Final Fantasy video game music. ...And that's all before the first, brutal fight or the 30 second rib destruction.

Just check out a small fraction of the weird stuff you missed if you weren't able to watch.

The ever-changing faces of Satoru Kitaoka

Oh, we doin' flying stomps now?

Well, flying stomps is one thing, but this dude straight up just soccer kicked a bald spot on the side of this guy's head. Ok sure, it's just how his hair flops but still, you have to admit you thought his foot just gave his opponent a Vitor Belfort haircut.

Sakuraba masks!

Only in Japnese MMA, can action be stalled because people are trying to figure out how to get a cute mascot inside a ring that it most definetly will not fit in through the ropes. The funny thing is, it didn't even matter at all. It's fun. It's cute. It reinforces the idea that we have mascot MMA.

Rin Nakai celebratory backflip.

Tenshin: The Boy with the Rubber Arm

Here is and walking out to RIZIN like they are both the Undertaker from the WWE. People complain that MMA has become a lot like pro wrestling, I said it's not pro wrestling enough. You can't lie to me and say you wouldn't like this as an MMA tag team right now.

Not Manny Pacquiao!

German Suplex!

Oh, and this awkward joke happened.

Here are the full results:

Complete Rizin Grand Prix Open Weight 2016 results included:

Mirko Filipovic def. Muhammed Lawal via TKO (strikes)

Baruto def. Tsuyoshi Kohsaka via unanimous decision

Amir Aliakbari def. Heath Herring via unanimous decision

Valentin Moldavsky def. Szymon Bajor via unanimous decision

Rin Nakai def. Kanako Murata via submission (rear-naked choke) – Round 2

Tenshin Nasukawa def. Nikita Sapun via TKO (strikes) – Round 1

Kazuyuki Miyata def. Andy Souwer via submission (armbar) – Round 1

Yuki Motoya def. Allan Nascimento via split decision

Tatsumitsu Wada def. Kaiwhare Kara-France via unanimous decision

Yusuke Yachi def. Mario Sismundo via TKO (strikes) – Round 1

Alyssa Garcia def. Kanna Asakura via unanimous decision

Vadim Nemkov def. Alison Vicente via knockout (punches) – Round 1

Satoru Kitaoka def. Daron Cruickshank via submission (guillotine choke) – Round 1


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