Thanks to the return of Fedor Emelianenko, this weekend's #UFCHalifax card has been flying a bit under the radar, which is probably the only time that the UFC has played second fiddle to Bellator in recent memory. But while I could list off all the reasons that you should tune into this Sunday's six-fight (!) main card, I'll instead just give you one: Hector Lombard.
Though his UFC career hasn't exactly been a shining success thus far, it would behoove you to recognize just how much of a badass "Lightning" (er..."Showeather") is when he's on his game. Which is why I, in my infinite wisdom, decided to put together this little collection of him wiping the floor with a handful of his opponents past. YOU ARE WELCOME.
Hector Lombard vs Daiju Takase – X-plosion 13
Daiju Takase is no joke. He's one of the only guys to beat Anderson Silva outside of the UFC, and forced a 600-pound sumo to submit to his punches in his very first MMA fight. As if that wasn't already scary enough, he also happened to be rocking a hairstyle that suggested he had just morphed into a Super Saiyan from Dragonball Z when he clashed with Lombard at X-plosion 13 in March of 2006. Was Hector Lombard intimidated? I won't spoil it, but I will say that this fight ends with someone's mouthpiece flying out on account of Hector hitting them so hard.
Hector Lombard vs Fabio Galeb – OFC 1
Guys named "Fabio" do not have a strong history in MMA. It's just a fact. Just as easily as Elias Theodorou would whoop *the* Fabio in a battle for hair supremacy, Hector Lombard was able to whoop Fabio Galeb with some of the nastiest punches from guard you will ever witness.
Hector Lombard vs Fabiano Capoani – CFC 4
Fabio, Fabiano, Fabiafusilli...whichever form of "Fabio" it is does not matter. All that matters is that, if you're an MMA fighter named whose name starts F-A-B, then Hector Lombard is going to knock you stone dead with punches and/or elbows from the mount. It's as sure as death and taxes.
Hector Lombard vs Jay Silva – Bellator 18
Six seconds. Six. Seconds. That's all it took for Lombard to starch UFC vet Jay Silva at Bellator 18. I'm pretty sure it takes more time than that to microwave a Pop Tart (if you're the kind of sadist who thinks microwaving a Pop Tart is an acceptable form of behavior, which it is not).
Hector Lombard vs. Whisper Goodman – Bellator 24
Fun fact: Before he was an MMA fighter, Herbert "Whisper" Goodman was a running back for the Green Bay Packers. He only played two seasons, ran the ball four times for a grand total of -3 yards with two fumbles, and this is STILL the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to him.
Hector Lombard vs. Falaniko Vitale – Bellator 44
You know how sometimes when you get a Charley horse, it takes your mind a couple seconds to register the pain before you have a reaction? Here's Hector Lombard making Falaniko Vitale's entire body do that with a punch.
NON KO BONUS DESTRUCTION: Hector Lombard vs. Jared Hess – Bellator 12
Jared Hess is probably the toughest fighter you've never heard of. He once tried to walk off THIS. Did you just empty the contents of your lunch onto your desk after looking at that? Well so did I, and I've seen that image no less than a dozen times in my life.
Anyways, here's Hector Lombard bloodying up Hess so bad that I think you can see his hypothalamus sticking out at one point.
So as you can see, Hector Lombard is nothing if not a human carnival of bluging muscles and horrific violence. This weekend, he'll be welcoming former welterweight champion Johny Hendricks to the middleweight division in a fight that screams "OMFGdidyoujustseethatbro." Should you tune in to #UFCHalifax to see it? DOES A BEAR SH*T IN THE WOODS AFTER BUMPING INTO HECTOR LOMBARD?