ByJared Jones, writer at
Writer. Editor. Zombie survival strategist. Follow me on Twitter @JJWritesStuff
Jared Jones

In the world of mixed martial arts, every knockout is truly its own, unique, unconsciousness-inducing snowflake. From time to time, however, we are gifted a KO that truly defies the odds, our expectations, or even the common laws of physics. That's what the 'Insane KO of the Day' is all about.

Today's KO: Dance Like Nobody's Watching

We've seen all kinds of strange bodily reactions to KO's over the years, from fighters unknowingly attempting fight the referee to that one guy who enjoyed an involuntary post-fight wanking session. That's the thing about being KO'd: You are powerless to control what happens after the fact. It's like being forced to take off your pants while under the spell of come cut-rate hypnotist, only when you wake up

That being said, I don't think I've ever seen a human body react to a knockout in the manner that you are about to see.

Taken from an amateur welterweight bout between Chris Gardner and Chris Henderson at Virginia Cage Fighting Championships: Danville Destruction V, this may be the plain goofiest KO you will ever witness. Less than a minute into the fight, the two men clinch up and jockey for position. Henderson uses a moment of space to launch a vicious knee to Gardner's dome, and then...

This... this has to be a work, right? I mean, not to kick a man while he's (spiraling) down, but Gardner was 5-11 coming into this fight, with the majority of his losses having come in the first round. While I'm hesitant to slap the "jobber" label on any fighter – especially on the amateur level, where no money is being exchanged – this is just too cartoonish of a fall to actually be real, RIGHT?!!

I mean, Gardner does a full-out pirouette that would have earned him eights across the board on Dancing With the Stars (except from maybe Len Goodman, that point Nazi), then collapses arms-out like a newborn playing airplane with his daddy. If this had happened in the WWE, Vince McMahon would've handed Gardner his pink slip before he even got to the entrance ramp. IT JUST DOESN'T ADD UP, DAMMIT.

Somebody...needs to get Neil Degrasse Tyson on the line to explain the physics of this to me.

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