It’s finally fight week, and my camp is winding down. The moment is rapidly approaching for me to make my first title defense, and put Old Man Dan firmly into retirement where he surely belongs. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to be the one to send him on his way, especially after all the shit he’s said about delivering extra blows in the extremely unlikely event that he catches me again.
Let’s make one thing crystal clear, the only one that’ll be developing an up-close and personal relationship with the canvas come Saturday night will be Dan. Who knows, maybe I’ll follow up with an extra bomb of my own. Fair play, right?
As Saturday draws closer, I’ve found myself hating a few things and missing a few others, so I’m going to try to use this blog as therapeutically as I can, to get some “issues” sorted.
Let’s talk about leg day. Is there anything more awful than leg day? You know why it’s awful? Because after a day filled with squats and various drills, your legs hurt! My strength and conditioning coach, Scot Prohaska, is an Olympic level coach. He’s amazing, for sure, but we’ll go in on Monday, and he’ll blitz our legs, so now, I’ve got to go through the rest of the week—Tuesday through Friday—with training partners kicking me in the legs, wrestling, jiu-jitsu and all manner of drills.
It’s not fun. I won’t lie, I have been known to try to cut a deal with him to get out of it. He’s always like, Mike, we’ve got to do it,’ and he continues on with my “fitness torture.” Squats…what can I say here? They hurt like hell. Does anyone actually go into the gym and say, ‘I can’t wait to make my legs burn like they’re in a five-alarm fire.’ I don’t think so.
Now, let’s talk about some things I’m missing, namely food. Don’t get me wrong, I’m eating well, but I’m not eating out at restaurants, which I love. I think everyone loves a good meal out, and I’m no different. Over the years, I’ve become increasingly more health conscious, so I don’t eat a lot of junk food, but take me to a good restaurant where I can eat a nice meal and have a few glasses of wine…that’s a good time, to me.
Denali Extreme Moose Tracks ice cream; is there anything better on this earth? My wife buys it, and it’s fucking delicious. It has these huge chunks of chocolate in it, and if you know me, you know I have a massive sweet tooth, especially for chocolate.
I found some in the freezer the other day, and I was like, ‘What are you doing buying this stuff?!’ Of course, I had to have myself a massive bowl, so my wife goes crazy, and I felt guilty after eating it. Or did I?
When I came out here to England the last time, I bought a huge bag of English candy, because it’s different and the kids miss it. It’s way better than American chocolate, and every time I’m here, I buy a big bag of it to bring home.
The problem is, now I know there’s chocolate in the house. Of course, my wife has hidden it from me, so when I ask her about it, she’s like, ‘Oh, it’s gone. The kids have eaten it.’ I’m like, ‘Don’t give me that shit, I know they haven’t eaten that entire bag,’ so then I start ripping the house to pieces in search of that damned chocolate. I can hear her in the other room, ‘Michael, it’s gone,’ and I tell her, ‘No, we have it. I know we do!’
In the end, she’ll give in, and pull it out of some hidden compartment in the laundry. ‘Here you go, honey, stuff your face. Have at it.’ I’ll eat them, and then I’ll ask her, ‘Why did you let me eat them?!’ She just can’t win, but I love that she keeps trying.
I’ll certainly be looking forward to some time away from “discipline,” because at this point, I’m ready to throw down on some quality food, tear through some chocolate and have leg day take a long, well-deserved vacation.