Every so often in life, an opportunity rises that truly seems to point to the existence of a higher power, or at least the notion that we alone are not in complete control of the many intangibles that constitute our shared daily existence.
For the UFC, that opportunity arose in the form of #UFC209, and specifically, the chance to book both of the brothers Diaz on the card. For it is because of Nick and Nate Diaz that the number 209 even has any significance in the minutiae of mixed martial arts culture — it being the area code of Stockton, California wherein the most infamous brethren in MMA were raised.
And like most of us, Joe Rogan is pissed that the UFC didn't make it happen.
"How the f*ck are they not having UFC 209 not in Stockton?" cried Rogan on a recent edition of The Joe Rogan Experience. "That sh*t is unconscionable. They had one opportunity ever in the history of the UFC."
And on this issue we agree, Mr. Rogan. I wanted it. Nick wanted it. My cousin Rudy with the funky eye wanted it. Everyone wanted it. I even went through the trouble of mocking up this poster (and some potential matchups for Nick) for the event to save the UFC some effort.
And yet, it seems that a Diaz-stacked UFC 209, like many of the greatest things in life, was not destined to be. The thought of it makes me want to vomit.
Of course, with Nate suddenly not willing to fight for less than 20 million and Nick being the spliff-smoking enigma that he has always been, it's hard to place the entirety of the blame on the UFC for not making this golden opportunity happen.
BUT THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING ANYWAY.
WAY TO GO, DANA. You've even managed to raise the spirit of the great Alan Rickman to protest this heinous act of tomfoolery. I award you zero points, and may God have mercy on your soul.