ByJustin Golightly, writer at
Design wizard. MMA mathematician. Formerly of Middle Easy, Justin Golightly has been featured on Bleacher Report, Uproxx and TMZ.
Justin Golightly

Did you know that Chuck Norris filed a copyright infringement lawsuit on NBC for stealing the names of his left and right legs for their show Law & Order? Would you be surprised if we told you that death once had a near-Norris experience? Of course not, he's Chuck freakin' Norris. We're talking about a guy who Georges St-Pierre challenged then immediately apolgized. He once had his own kickboxing league, but now it's his turn to demonstrate his deadly skills in a virtual environment.

In Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator, you can program hordes of Orcs to stampede across a battlefield to fight Spartan soldiers — or, y'know, thousands of chickens — awaiting their beautiful death. The best thing though, is that Chuck Norris is one of many warriors you can plop down in the middle of the map to vanquish your armies. Can the living legend defeat 1,000 zombies, 5,000 Spartans, 10,000 Orcs?! Spoiler alert: Absolutely. If you're sold beyond the mere reaches of this article, Kotaku streamed nearly an hour of simulations.


Latest from our Creators